Friday, October 24, 2008


I was feeling bummed this morning because recently I'd lost 21 pounds (as of mid-September) but then gained about 4 or 5 of them back again over the past three to four weeks. I've been trying to get myself back on the rails and the harder I try, the more I obsess, and the more I obsess, the worse I eat, and it becomes the same pattern that put the 21 pounds on me in the first place. (Self-loathing => self-destructive eating => more self-loathing => more self-destructive eating...) At that rate I would soon find the weight back on me.

Another manifestation of this problem was feeling unfocused in my work. I have stacks of work on the shelf but the harder I think about clearing the shelves and getting the work done, the more distracted I get and the less work gets done.

This morning while walking the dogs I got outside my head for a moment and managed to see a way out. I have to stop focusing on the failure and focus on the goal. D-uh! Seems pretty simple, but just having that epiphany helped me feel less lost.

This worked when I ran my last marathon. To get through the last 6 miles, I focused on the mile ahead and as I reached each mile marker, I literally focused on it with my eyes and imagined it "pulling" me toward itself like a big rubber band.

The trick is not to look at the end goal (e.g. 26.2 miles for the marathon, 122 pounds for the weight goal, all that work sitting on the shelf getting older and older) but at the next sub-goal (the next mile for the marathon, the end of the week for the production goal or weight loss goal.

So I will let $[ ]k and 127 pounds pull me toward itself this Friday, October 31. Let me look FORWARD and let the goals in front of me pull me in. No one ever finished a marathon by looking down at their feet!

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